YONI SPEAK

For hundreds if not thousands of years men have been dictating the standards of beauty to women. No matter what time in history beautiful women have been admired, sculpted, painted, and sought after. Being beautiful was something that every woman wanted to be for being beautiful gave women power over men. Look at Helen of Troy who started the Trojan war she was considered the most beautiful woman of her time, her face has launched a thousand ships. Being beautiful gave a woman an edge in the world of men. Today, just like sex, beauty has become a commodity. Naomi Wolf in her book The Beauty Myth  shares how women for decades have been sold a bill of goods by the marketing moguls of Madison Ave., and that women have believed them. The standards of beauty continue to be dictated by men for the most part. The fashion industry, Hollywood, and MTV are brainwashing not only women but girls as well and we continue to believe that we are not the right kind of beautiful or not be...

I love the word 'allure'. The word itself captivates one and I find it holds the energy of its meaning. To be alluring is 1) to tempt or entice; 2) the power of attraction, 3) to beguile. It could also mean that you  have charisma or even the power to seduce or be seductive. When one is 'alluring' the one who is being allured is under a “spell” or so it may seem. Don’t you just love knowing that if you are a woman you have the power to beguile? In fact, that is where it all began in the mythical Garden of Eden when the Snake (symbol for sexuality) beguiled Eve to eat the tree of knowledge. The question I wish to explore here is if this is the old definition of what it means to be alluring then what could the new definition be? This is an important question for women to answer, for ever since the ‘fall’ we women have been trying to apologize for being a woman. I believe that the time has come to reshape, reconfigure and redefine what it means to b...

Is the power of a woman's body the power of her sex? If this is true then what happens when a culture or society sexualizes and industrializes sex, and women and girls as sex objects? What happens when the culture you live in only values you for your sex appeal and denigrates you because you are a woman? Since the beginning of male domination, some say patriarchy, over 5,000 years ago, when women were delegated to second class citizens, the property of men, and all human rights for the most part eliminated. Women were forced into using their sexuality as a means to survive. This may have been because of their economic conditions or because they were given/sold into marriage as breeders for heirs, or because they were made slaves by a conquering nation. Whatever the cause the condition remained the same. Women often felt that the only worth they had, the only weapon of power they held against their captors, was their sex, their body. Thus comes the dismantling of the tr...

For centuries women have been classified into categories of being either good or bad. Good being virginal, (her hymen intact), a woman that does not sleep around or who is not promiscuous; bad meaning, just the opposite, a “whore”, slut, seductress/seducer, a woman who enjoys sex with many men who steals other women’s men or who just enjoys sex.   Although today in Western society, women have more freedom than ever before, these old attitudes still remain.  In many other countries throughout the world a woman’s virginity is still considered a prize possession kept only for her husband and if a woman is found to not be virginal when she is of a marriageable age she is ostracized and considered ruined   and unclean. These attitudes have been accepted by the collective field of humanity, and therefore passed down from generation to generation. Women, in particular, have taken these attitudes to heart as they have been passed down from great-grandmother t...

“An increasing problem for the vagina, and the whole of life of the woman who owns that vagina, is that porn affects men neurologically, to their detriment.”   Naomi Wolf There is increased evidence that watching porn repetitively severely inhibits how men respond to sexual intimacy, their ability to have an erection and to enjoy making love with their partner. Not only is a man’s ability to sustain an erection effected but so is his desire to have foreplay and to learn the “arts of love”, which provide the necessary caresses women’s autonomic nervous systems need in order for a woman to be able to fully reach arousal. It seems that “ordinary” sex is no longer stimulating to many men who are heavy porn users. Frequent masturbation to porn may also train your brain and body to only respond sexually to these types of visual stimuli. “This phenomenon has diminished the sexual satisfaction of many women, similar to that found in the 1997 and 2004 sexual surveys,” says Nao...

    "Within the sacred womb of women dwells a mysterious magnetic power that attracts all back to their divinity."  For thousands of years women have been gathering in sacred circles to recognize the bond that unites them. It is this bond that goes deeper than women being friends or even being a “sister” that I am addressing. Having a woman's body is the bond that unites all women everywhere. It is because of our sex, our "yoni", that we are deeply connected and bonded. The yoni is one of the most ancient symbols for feminine power.This symbol has been found on cave walls dated thousands of years ago.   " It is through the intimacy of every woman's body, that the flame of spirit is kept for it's direct transmission to others."  ( Lilith, Keepers of the Flame. ) Throughout the many civilizations of Goddess based cultures, this symbol of feminine power has been used. This understanding of our feminine power is as ancient a...

It is hard not to be aware of the current atmosphere of misogyny that seems to be on the rise. Or perhaps it has always been here all along but it has never felt so blatant. It is an attitude that seems to be reflected everywhere you look. It is in the papers, MTV, on the news and on the internet.  It has become hard not to notice the normalization of misogyny.  This attitude of hostility toward women is not a new issue.  Unfortunately, women for centuries have been the target of misogynistic behavior.  The primary reason for this repression of women, was that women’s power, and primarily their sexual power, was feared by men. Those who made the laws felt that a woman's sexuality, her body too easily influenced a man's good judgement. Some felt that women's innate power to create life had become too important and so they created new stories and new laws that curbed a woman's influence and power. So the pervading  male dominated culture created  pr...

As some of you may know, most of what I write about has to do with the culture in which we all live in today and how it specifically affects girls and women. Being a woman myself I have   had many life experiences to validate much of what I write about. But as a writer I get the privilege of being able to share my thoughts, feelings and of course the facts of whatever it is that I am interested writing about. So  when I came across an article and video that talked about living in a rape culture, I knew I wanted to write about what this meant to me and what it means for all of us.  So I decided to share with you some of the things I found out about this topic. The first step in changing anything is to raise the awareness of the problem or the situation and then from that place we can discover solutions. So what is a rape culture?   It seems that it is a term that was coined from the days when being a Feminist wasn't a dirty word. It actually defines the current ...

A few months ago, I went to a local production of Eve Ensler's, I Am An Emotional Creator , the Secret Life of Girls . I went with my God daughter and her parents. I had already heard  Eve speak on this topic on Ted Talks, Embrace Your Inner Girl , (see video above). She spoke about the essentials on the status of women who have been traumatize for being a woman or female throughout the world. She spoke of her book "I Am an Emotional Creature, the Secret Life of Girls," which speaks of how our "inner girl cell" that both men and women have inside of us, has been oppressed, killed by living in a male dominated world  for thousands of years. And, as a result we have created a world in which being born a girl is one of the worst things that you could be. Of course I already knew these facts and have been aware of the status of girls and women in this culture for decades. I have done many hours of research on this very issue. My own “mission” is to enlighten w...

The dictionary definition says the word empowerment means:  1). To give power or authority to; authorize, especially by legal or official means: 2). to enable or permit. En or In means power. To give power, authority to someone or something. But for me, this word conveys more than this simple definition It says  to feel powerful from within. to feel strong, confident, wholly powerful. It truly describes the feminine way of  power. The Culture We Live In In the world we live in today, women and girls are being sexualized and objectified as sex objects at earlier and earlier ages.   Girls begin to mimick the Brittny Spears's, Hannah Montana's of the T.V. and music world. as early as age 3. They don't really know what they are doing but nevertheless they are doing it. Shaking their little booties and bumping and grinding.   As they grow and begin to mature into young girls they are exposed to yet more sex on MTV, ...