YONI SPEAK

For Thousands of years, the story of womanhood has been written and distorted by men. They defined what it meant to be feminine. They decided what made a woman “sexy,” “acceptable,” or “pure.” They projected their desires onto us, then wrapped those projections in religion, education, and culture until we began to believe them as our own. But make no mistake: this version of womanhood was never ours. This distortion began long ago, in the story of Genesis and during the rise of the Bronze and Iron Ages. The reverence for the Great Mother, the ancient feminine force of creation, intuition, and life was slowly replaced by a masculine god of war, control, and conquest. The true story of Lilith as the First Woman was replaced by a more subservient Eve, and with that shift came the quiet erasure of the rightful power of the feminine,  specifically her sexual power. From ancient scriptures to schoolbooks, from pulpits to pop culture, we've been conditioned to believe that owning ...

Recently, I revisited Peggy Ornstein's insightful book, "Girls and Sex," penned in 2016. It was a journey to reconnect with her research and insights into various aspects of girls' experiences and perspectives on sexuality, relationships, and identity. I wanted to see if there had been any shifts since the book's publication and, if so, what they were. Did girls still navigate similar challenges in the realms of sex, dating, and the infamous hook-up culture? As someone deeply entrenched in teaching women's sexuality and serving as a sex educator for years, I found some of the anecdotes from young women disheartening. Their accounts of navigating the patriarchal landscapes of college life, particularly within dorms, sororities, or frat houses, shed light on persistent issues. Questions lingered: Was the outdated excuse of "boys will be boys" still prevalent, especially within fraternities? Did girls still feel pressured to conform, to be sexually ac...

  I love the word 'allure'. The word itself captivates one and  holds the energy of its meaning. To be alluring is 1) to temp or entice; 2) the power of attraction, 3) to beguile. It could also mean that one has charisma or even the power to seduce or be seductive. When one is 'alluring' the allured is under a “spell” or so it may seem. Don’t you just love knowing that if you are a woman you have the power to beguile? In fact, that is where it all began in the mythical Garden of Eden when the Snake (symbol for sexuality) beguiled Eve to eat the apple of knowledge. The question I wish to explore here is if this is the old definition of what it means to be alluring then what could the new definition be? For centuries, we've been told that our ability to captivate men somehow contributed to the downfall of mankind. Our natural sensuality was labeled as too potent and alluring for men to handle. Consequently, the term 'allure' took on a negative connotation, cau...