Has the Beauty Myth Gone To Far?

 I recently revisited the growing fad of what is commonly called, labiaplasty as I did an article on some years ago. I wanted to see where things are today and because I also teach about sexuality to women and girls.

Since 2016 there has been a 39% increase in labiaplasty surgeries. which can roughly be estimated at more than 12,000 women. This fact still astonishes me and saddens me at the same time. Recent research done by Refinery 29 who took a poll of 3,670 women stated that 48% of them were concerned about the way their vulvas looked.

“A third (32%) of women told us they had been made to feel that theirs were not "normal", and when we gave them the chance to expand on this, their accounts made for a disheartening read. Porn was cited time and again, with 72% of women who compare their vagina or vulva to others' referring to it. One woman described her labia as "larger" than she has seen depicted by the industry, another said hers "doesn’t look like what [she sees] in porn," while another summed up the problem perfectly: porn, she said, depicts "vaginas that all look basically the same". (Refinery 29)

As a writer and teacher about women's sexuality, and founder of a new program for teen girls, Sasse Girls, (Sexually Aware, Smart and Savvy Girls), I have to do my research and keep up with the times. With more and more young girls and boys being exposed to porn and learning about sex and body image from this medium, the damage to girls self-esteem and the demands of physical perfection that are projected on to them is on the rise.

The lack of adequate sex education in most states including many schools in California is appalling, and kids are turning to what is available to them to learn from about sex. The fact that the porn industry has taken over this job by default is a fact and is something that could be changed. There are much better ways to learn about sexual intimacy and all that it encompasses.

"Porn also feeds body-image woes indirectly via partners' viewing habits. Time and again, research has flagged its pernicious effect on heterosexual male viewers – links have been drawn between viewing porn and issues ranging from erectile dysfunction and unprotected sex to potentially even the shrinking of the male brain – and judging from our survey, women’s self-perception is a major piece of collateral damage. Men's views of the female body appear to have been severely skewed by porn, with many respondents telling us they’d been made to feel their vulva or vagina was "abnormal" by an ex-partner." ~ Refinery 29

What Can You Do?

• One of the primary solutions to this situation is to educate women and girls about their sexuality and how to make healthy choices about it. If you have a daughter teach her her body is beautiful and so is her vulva.
• Have more women to teach the younger generations about the sacredness of their bodies and how beautiful they are just as they are and to model positive self-image and self-esteem as well as teaching what it means to be a sexually empowered woman.
• Become more educated yourself about your own body and sexuality and learn to love your own yoni if you don't.
• Have more conversations about these things with other women and men. Invite your friends over and talk about what concerns you have and then share the good news that your yoni is perfect just as she is.

My Offer to You

If you would like to directly experience your connection to your vulva/yoni in a whole new way and celebrate her then please join me and other women like yourself in the Yoni Empowerment Ceremony June 29th.

It is through this opportunity that you, no matter what your age, can get reacquainted and establish a whole new relationship with this most sacred part of yourself.

I invite you to check out this life-transforming experience and to also pass on this information so that more women and girls can begin to love themselves all of who they are just the way they are.