Cultivating Your Authentic Self

“To be authentic, we must cultivate the courage to be imperfect -- and vulnerable. We have to believe that we are fundamentally worthy of love and acceptance, just as we are. I’ve learned that there is no better way to invite more grace, gratitude and joy into our lives than by mindfully practicing authenticity.”— Brené Brown

Authentic is defined in the dictionary as: “not false or copied; genuine; real.” “representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified.

Being authentic is not always easy because we often feel confused by all the mixed messages that are projected onto us by our families, friends, our profession, school, and popular culture.

Sometimes it is hard to distinguish what we want from what we are told we should want, or how we should dress, look, especially for women in this culture, where we are constantly bombarded by the media from a very early age. We are told that if we only buy this product or dress a certain way, we will be more popular or sexier or happier…We are never told that it is ok to just be ourselves.

The message is that being yourself is not enough and you and I know that the bottom line is that dissatisfaction sells hopes and dreams and creates a desire to be different from who you are. The primary goal of all of these messages is to make money by the companies that are trying to convince you and me that we need to be something other than our authentic self.

So then how do you begin to know how to become an authentic person?

Becoming authentic is an inside job that everyone must do to learn for themselves who they are and what they stand for.

What You Can Do to Cultivate Authenticity

• One of the first things is to discover what your core values are and to go inside yourself and to sit with the question, “What really matters to me?” From there you might discover that you are someone who values kindness, or being honest, or having integrity etc.

• Your core values are the things that matter most to you that are your Bottom Line, and the things you will never compromise. They actually help you to build character, to give you the inner strength to become the person that you have always wanted to be and to know yourself better. They are like the rudder in a ship because they guide you in your life.

• Once you know what you stand for it becomes much easier to be authentic and discover how you wish to show up in the world. When you begin to align yourself with your core values, then everything else that you do will be an expression of them... how you look, speak and think will in some way reflect your core values. You will begin to “walk your talk.”

• Walking your talk is not always an easy thing to do. Living from your core values may prove to be challenging at time, but the more you do it the stronger you will become. Authenticity is something you cultivate and practice every second of every day. It is something that requires great presence and vigilance from you. You have to become your own coach that lovingly will help you to get back in alignment when you forget.

• When you have begun to live from your core values and are more in alignment with them out in the world, you will then be able to also share who you are more authentically with others. That means you will need to be more vulnerable and open with others. Part of being authentic is learning how to be vulnerable with others.

• An authentic person is not afraid to take a risk and expose their deepest feelings to another. From a spiritual perspective, I have found that my core values are also a reflection of my spiritual values and are often one and the same.

• I have found out that the more I am willing to deeply share my truth the more powerful I am. That may sound contradictory but it actually isn’t. When you can share and own your true feelings with someone you will be the one who opens the door for them to share their truth as well. You are showing them a way to be real with your communication and in that there is power.

• Your spiritual values are something that you practice daily and do your best to live in alignment with them. If your spiritual values are your core values then your life becomes much easier to navigate since you are more integrated.

I choose to live my values and to be as authentic as I can at home, at work, at play and with all of my communications as much possible and you can too.

Remember this is a continuous learning process and we are never really done. We are here to grow into more aware, awake and conscious versions of ourselves and one of the first steps of this journey is to learn how to be more authentic.