Has the Beauty Myth Gone to Far, Labiaplasty Fad or Self Mutilation?
Has the beauty myth gone too far? In today's culture, I think it has. After recently reading about female genital mutilation practices in Africa and other Muslin countries, it seems that women in our own culture are doing something that is not far akin to mutilating themselves voluntarily. Of course, the FGM practices are far more extensive and the repercussions far more harmful to the woman but that does not mean that when a young woman feels her genitalia does not look normal and decides to have her labia lips essentially cut off that it is not as serious. It seems that way to me. I have recently become aware of the growing fad of what is commonly called, labiaplasty and vaginoplasty. Since 2016 there has been a 39% increase in labiaplasty surgeries. which can roughly be estimated at more than 12,000 women. This fact still astonishes me and saddens me at the same time. Recent research done by Refinery 29 who took a poll of 3,670 women stated that 43% of them were concerned about the way their vulvas looked. One of the main reasons why is that they feel embarrassed about the way their vulva looks and because guys often say it is repulsive to go down on a woman with hair or with lips that look ugly.
My first glimpse of this phenomena was on a documentary, Sexy Baby. This very informative documentary filmed in 2012 follows three women and their stories regarding, sex and teens, labiaplasty, and cultural over-sexualization of girls. Although this was filmed over12 years ago not much has changed when it comes to how girls are affected by the cultural standards of beauty. It is even worse today because of the access of porn on the internet.
As a writer and teacher about women's sexuality, and founder of a new program for teen girls, Sasse Girls, ( Sexually Aware, Smart and Savvy Girls), I have to do my research and keep up with the times. With more and more young girls and boys being exposed to porn and learning about sex and body image from this medium, the damage on girls self-esteem and the demands of physical perfection that are projected on to them is on the rise.
For instance, the woman in Sexy Baby who had this surgery done said that she felt her labia lips were ugly, too large and she felt depressed about her genitals. Whom did she compare herself to since looking at other women’s vaginas is not a common practice in our culture today. The answer she gave was to porn stars. She also said her boyfriend commented on her vulva and compared her to a porn star. It seems she and her former boyfriend used to watch porn together and she saw that all the women had a perfect looking vulva. In this young woman’s mind, because her labia did not look like a porn star, who by the way, are groomed to look a certain way because they are in a movie, she felt ugly. She actually said she was so uncomfortable the way her labia looked that she felt stuck in her life and had to have the surgery. It is obvious that this woman did not understand that porn stars have to look good for their work. If they didn’t have perfect bodies, they wouldn’t be appealing to the audience they are selling sex to, which is primarily men. We also can say that the men in porn all have large penises and great abs, the women perfect measurements, and beautiful labia. Everyone is shaved and groomed immaculately in order to have sex on camera.
But this is not real, this is fantasyland. For Barbie Dolls and porn stars to now be the standard of how a “real woman” should look, is saying that something is drastically wrong with our cultural views of female beauty. In Naomi Wolf’s book, The Beauty Myth, she delves deep into the mass marketing of female beauty…stating that women are continually brainwashed by the media and Madison Ave. standards of what a sexy, beautiful woman should look like. And even though this book was written a decade ago, it is unfortunately even more relevant today.
What is happening to young women who have been born after the second wave of the women’s liberation movement affects all women. This rising trend to mutilate one's genitalia is not something to be taken lightly. It is a serious symptom of a dysfunctional cultural standard of beauty and of what is sexually appealing.
For a generation of women to believe that their genitals are ugly because they have large labia lips tells us that these women are feeling less self-esteem, have a poor body image and a serious lack of understanding about female sexuality. The culture is filled with ads, music, films and other media telling girls/women that they are not sexy enough or pretty enough unless they look a certain way, which is continuously giving young girls and women the message they are not good enough the way they are.
“So it's a cause for concern that 11- to 14-year-olds are already so self-conscious about their intimate parts. An image is already being set that something is wrong with them when it's highly likely that they're completely normal.” (Dr. Iglesia)
Our sex-crazed, culture has created generations of girls and women who have distorted views of what being a sexy woman looks like. The underlying message is that women have to do something to change their bodies to be attractive to men and society at large.
In the documentary The Perfect Vagina (NSFW) a woman from the UK sets out to understand why women are going under the knife to alter the look of their genitalia, a form of self-mutilation. She notes that labiaplasty is the fastest growing cosmetic surgery in the UK, and one of the fastest growing operations in the United States. But women are not the only ones who are ignorant and lack good sex education about themselves. Men too, encourage this type of surgery, as discovered by the writer of this documentary. The fact that a man may not find a woman’s vaginal lips attractive says that he too is in need of a thorough education regarding female anatomy.
What They Are Not Telling You
According to Dr. Linda Cardozo (gynecologist), requests from the UK’s National Health Service for what she calls a “designer vagina” have doubled in the last five years. Cardozo is concerned about the well-being of women because a labiaplasty means being subjected to a largely unregulated procedure, one that involves the risk of permanent scarring, infections, bleeding and irritation, as well as major changes in vaginal sensitivity. According to the documentary, a labiaplasty procedure can take up to three months to fully heal. In the worst cases, post-operative clitoral hood deformity can occur.
Cardozo noted that it isn’t rare to have three generations from the same family come into her office all looking for the same type of labia reduction. She comments that women are desiring to have a vagina that looks like that of a little girl, which will never truly come to fruition because these women aren’t and will never be little girls again.
This trend toward having “vaginal rejuvenation” or female genital cosmetic procedures, such as “vaginoplasty”, “revirginization” and “G-spot amplification”, are symptoms of a culture that has become even more dependent upon the “quick fix” rather than educating oneself and broadening your understanding of your body and sexuality. I think even a more repressed reason for this kind of surgery to be on the rise, is the hidden shame that all women carry, since Eve, for being a sexual woman and how this fact somehow caused the downfall of man. The power of a woman’s body and her sex still seems to be something we are all still apologizing for. Somehow I know in the core of my soul, that women today are still being influenced by this mass collective belief that has been handed down from mother to daughter for lifetimes.
"More than 2,140 U.S. women underwent 'vaginal rejuvenation' last year, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. The International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons put the U.S. total at nearly 5,200 in 2010. Experts note such figures do not include the many procedures done by gynecologists." (Medscape)
The old paradigm regarding women, which says that a woman’s worth is only based on how she looks physically and how attractive she is to a man, must change.
The Solution to this Growing Problem
Education may not be the only solution but in truth is one of the best ways to help end this newest fad. When girls and women are educated about their Herstory, when they are able to see how women are still viewed in our society today, and when they are taught better sex education about their own bodies, then young girls, women will begin to have better self-esteem and make better choices for themselves. Many of the reasons that women get these procedures done could be eliminated with just a little bit more of information and a few good exercises for a vaginal facelift.
In many tantric traditions (see my article, The Tantric Tradition of Typing Genitalia, Does Size Really Matter?, the typing of both male and female genitals are quite common. They are generally named and specific attributes of each type are explained. Knowing what type you are and what type your partner is can make a world of difference in terms of sexual satisfaction, but more so in terms of accepting and appreciating your vagina or penis the method it is. You will learn by reading more about the type you are, that your genitals are not abnormal because they don’t look like porn stars genitals but just perfect the way they are, The Yoni Empowerment Ceremony/Playshop.
As part of my work in the world, you could even say my mission, I created a workshop/ceremony called The Yoni (Sanskrit word for vulva), Empowerment Puja (sacred ceremony). At these playshop/ceremonies, I have personally witnessed women who have hated the way their genitals looked when they began the day and left feeling that their vulvas were beautiful. Part of the metamorphosis that occurs during this one or two-day ceremony is that women begin to have a more connected relationship with their yoni/vulva.
Through a process I call Yoni Speak, you may, for the first time, begin to actually speak and listen to your vulva. When you begin to feel a deeper connection with this very special part of your woman’s body, you will learn what she really wants from you which will most likely be very different from what you want.
I also provide sex education on the different types of female genitalia. As mentioned earlier one of the most powerful things a woman can do for herself is to see other women’s vulvas. Yes, I know this may sound a bit crazy, but being able to see other women who have a similar genital type as you can make all the difference in the world. Without actually being able to see other vulvas, some different some the same as yours, you cannot truly know how normal and beautiful your genitals are.
As well as learning about the different types of female genitalia, creating a mold of your yoni as a sacred altarpiece and decorating it, is a very empowering and life-changing experience. It may sound simple but by going through the process of first creating the mold, then in silence communing with your Yoni and listening to how “she” wants you to decorate her, will change how you see and feel about your vulva forever. One participant told me that she thought she had nothing to learn about her yoni, but after making the altarpiece she had a whole new relationship with her vulva.
In conclusion, I hope that if you are a woman reading this article, or know of a woman who has thought of getting one of these procedures done, please do yourself and your friend a favor by taking the time to see what other alternatives exist. My intention for writing this article is in part to bring awareness to other solutions and to provide you with alternative ways to learn how you can like and even love your genitals and your whole body.
For some additional resources please check out:
https://vimeo.com/46035152 resources The Centerfoldproject.
http://www.womensmysteries.org/Workshops.html
http://www.womensmysteries.org/PriestessInitiation.html
Note: Some providers, particularly in Australia and New Zealand, want these procedures banned because they consider them akin to female genital mutilation, particularly when the surgery includes clitoral hood reduction.
My first glimpse of this phenomena was on a documentary, Sexy Baby. This very informative documentary filmed in 2012 follows three women and their stories regarding, sex and teens, labiaplasty, and cultural over-sexualization of girls. Although this was filmed over12 years ago not much has changed when it comes to how girls are affected by the cultural standards of beauty. It is even worse today because of the access of porn on the internet.
As a writer and teacher about women's sexuality, and founder of a new program for teen girls, Sasse Girls, ( Sexually Aware, Smart and Savvy Girls), I have to do my research and keep up with the times. With more and more young girls and boys being exposed to porn and learning about sex and body image from this medium, the damage on girls self-esteem and the demands of physical perfection that are projected on to them is on the rise.
For instance, the woman in Sexy Baby who had this surgery done said that she felt her labia lips were ugly, too large and she felt depressed about her genitals. Whom did she compare herself to since looking at other women’s vaginas is not a common practice in our culture today. The answer she gave was to porn stars. She also said her boyfriend commented on her vulva and compared her to a porn star. It seems she and her former boyfriend used to watch porn together and she saw that all the women had a perfect looking vulva. In this young woman’s mind, because her labia did not look like a porn star, who by the way, are groomed to look a certain way because they are in a movie, she felt ugly. She actually said she was so uncomfortable the way her labia looked that she felt stuck in her life and had to have the surgery. It is obvious that this woman did not understand that porn stars have to look good for their work. If they didn’t have perfect bodies, they wouldn’t be appealing to the audience they are selling sex to, which is primarily men. We also can say that the men in porn all have large penises and great abs, the women perfect measurements, and beautiful labia. Everyone is shaved and groomed immaculately in order to have sex on camera.
But this is not real, this is fantasyland. For Barbie Dolls and porn stars to now be the standard of how a “real woman” should look, is saying that something is drastically wrong with our cultural views of female beauty. In Naomi Wolf’s book, The Beauty Myth, she delves deep into the mass marketing of female beauty…stating that women are continually brainwashed by the media and Madison Ave. standards of what a sexy, beautiful woman should look like. And even though this book was written a decade ago, it is unfortunately even more relevant today.
What is happening to young women who have been born after the second wave of the women’s liberation movement affects all women. This rising trend to mutilate one's genitalia is not something to be taken lightly. It is a serious symptom of a dysfunctional cultural standard of beauty and of what is sexually appealing.
For a generation of women to believe that their genitals are ugly because they have large labia lips tells us that these women are feeling less self-esteem, have a poor body image and a serious lack of understanding about female sexuality. The culture is filled with ads, music, films and other media telling girls/women that they are not sexy enough or pretty enough unless they look a certain way, which is continuously giving young girls and women the message they are not good enough the way they are.
“So it's a cause for concern that 11- to 14-year-olds are already so self-conscious about their intimate parts. An image is already being set that something is wrong with them when it's highly likely that they're completely normal.” (Dr. Iglesia)
Our sex-crazed, culture has created generations of girls and women who have distorted views of what being a sexy woman looks like. The underlying message is that women have to do something to change their bodies to be attractive to men and society at large.
In the documentary The Perfect Vagina (NSFW) a woman from the UK sets out to understand why women are going under the knife to alter the look of their genitalia, a form of self-mutilation. She notes that labiaplasty is the fastest growing cosmetic surgery in the UK, and one of the fastest growing operations in the United States. But women are not the only ones who are ignorant and lack good sex education about themselves. Men too, encourage this type of surgery, as discovered by the writer of this documentary. The fact that a man may not find a woman’s vaginal lips attractive says that he too is in need of a thorough education regarding female anatomy.
What They Are Not Telling You
According to Dr. Linda Cardozo (gynecologist), requests from the UK’s National Health Service for what she calls a “designer vagina” have doubled in the last five years. Cardozo is concerned about the well-being of women because a labiaplasty means being subjected to a largely unregulated procedure, one that involves the risk of permanent scarring, infections, bleeding and irritation, as well as major changes in vaginal sensitivity. According to the documentary, a labiaplasty procedure can take up to three months to fully heal. In the worst cases, post-operative clitoral hood deformity can occur.
Cardozo noted that it isn’t rare to have three generations from the same family come into her office all looking for the same type of labia reduction. She comments that women are desiring to have a vagina that looks like that of a little girl, which will never truly come to fruition because these women aren’t and will never be little girls again.
This trend toward having “vaginal rejuvenation” or female genital cosmetic procedures, such as “vaginoplasty”, “revirginization” and “G-spot amplification”, are symptoms of a culture that has become even more dependent upon the “quick fix” rather than educating oneself and broadening your understanding of your body and sexuality. I think even a more repressed reason for this kind of surgery to be on the rise, is the hidden shame that all women carry, since Eve, for being a sexual woman and how this fact somehow caused the downfall of man. The power of a woman’s body and her sex still seems to be something we are all still apologizing for. Somehow I know in the core of my soul, that women today are still being influenced by this mass collective belief that has been handed down from mother to daughter for lifetimes.
"More than 2,140 U.S. women underwent 'vaginal rejuvenation' last year, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. The International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons put the U.S. total at nearly 5,200 in 2010. Experts note such figures do not include the many procedures done by gynecologists." (Medscape)
The old paradigm regarding women, which says that a woman’s worth is only based on how she looks physically and how attractive she is to a man, must change.
The Solution to this Growing Problem
Education may not be the only solution but in truth is one of the best ways to help end this newest fad. When girls and women are educated about their Herstory, when they are able to see how women are still viewed in our society today, and when they are taught better sex education about their own bodies, then young girls, women will begin to have better self-esteem and make better choices for themselves. Many of the reasons that women get these procedures done could be eliminated with just a little bit more of information and a few good exercises for a vaginal facelift.
In many tantric traditions (see my article, The Tantric Tradition of Typing Genitalia, Does Size Really Matter?, the typing of both male and female genitals are quite common. They are generally named and specific attributes of each type are explained. Knowing what type you are and what type your partner is can make a world of difference in terms of sexual satisfaction, but more so in terms of accepting and appreciating your vagina or penis the method it is. You will learn by reading more about the type you are, that your genitals are not abnormal because they don’t look like porn stars genitals but just perfect the way they are, The Yoni Empowerment Ceremony/Playshop.
As part of my work in the world, you could even say my mission, I created a workshop/ceremony called The Yoni (Sanskrit word for vulva), Empowerment Puja (sacred ceremony). At these playshop/ceremonies, I have personally witnessed women who have hated the way their genitals looked when they began the day and left feeling that their vulvas were beautiful. Part of the metamorphosis that occurs during this one or two-day ceremony is that women begin to have a more connected relationship with their yoni/vulva.
Through a process I call Yoni Speak, you may, for the first time, begin to actually speak and listen to your vulva. When you begin to feel a deeper connection with this very special part of your woman’s body, you will learn what she really wants from you which will most likely be very different from what you want.
I also provide sex education on the different types of female genitalia. As mentioned earlier one of the most powerful things a woman can do for herself is to see other women’s vulvas. Yes, I know this may sound a bit crazy, but being able to see other women who have a similar genital type as you can make all the difference in the world. Without actually being able to see other vulvas, some different some the same as yours, you cannot truly know how normal and beautiful your genitals are.
As well as learning about the different types of female genitalia, creating a mold of your yoni as a sacred altarpiece and decorating it, is a very empowering and life-changing experience. It may sound simple but by going through the process of first creating the mold, then in silence communing with your Yoni and listening to how “she” wants you to decorate her, will change how you see and feel about your vulva forever. One participant told me that she thought she had nothing to learn about her yoni, but after making the altarpiece she had a whole new relationship with her vulva.
In conclusion, I hope that if you are a woman reading this article, or know of a woman who has thought of getting one of these procedures done, please do yourself and your friend a favor by taking the time to see what other alternatives exist. My intention for writing this article is in part to bring awareness to other solutions and to provide you with alternative ways to learn how you can like and even love your genitals and your whole body.
For some additional resources please check out:
https://vimeo.com/46035152 resources The Centerfoldproject.
http://www.womensmysteries.org/Workshops.html
http://www.womensmysteries.org/PriestessInitiation.html
Note: Some providers, particularly in Australia and New Zealand, want these procedures banned because they consider them akin to female genital mutilation, particularly when the surgery includes clitoral hood reduction.
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