Tuesday, November 15, 2016

What is Feminine Allure and the New Feminine Mystique



I love the word 'allure'. The word itself captivates one and I find it holds the energy of its meaning. To be alluring is 1) to tempt or entice; 2) the power of attraction, 3) to beguile. It could also mean that you  have charisma or even the power to seduce or be seductive. When one is 'alluring' the one who is being allured is under a “spell” or so it may seem.

Don’t you just love knowing that if you are a woman you have the power to beguile? In fact, that is where it all began in the mythical Garden of Eden when the Snake (symbol for sexuality) beguiled Eve to eat the tree of knowledge.

The question I wish to explore here is if this is the old definition of what it means to be alluring then what could the new definition be?

This is an important question for women to answer, for ever since the ‘fall’ we women have been trying to apologize for being a woman. I believe that the time has come to reshape, reconfigure and redefine what it means to be a woman who has allure or what I call 'feminine mystique'.

It has been for literally thousands of years that we have been told that it was our ability to entice men that caused the downfall of mankind. Our innate sexuality was too hot for a man to handle. And so the word allure got a bad rap and women were told that to be too sexy, too enticing or seductive was wrong. Only bad girls did that, not good girls. And even though we wanted to please our mothers and fathers we also wanted to explore our bad girl nature.

Over 30 years ago Betty Friedan wrote the book, The Feminine Mystique. It rocked the feminist world and brought awareness to the roles of women, a subject that had never been questioned. Although this book was written decades ago, many of these ideas are still prevalent in our culture today. Betty Friedan’s book exposed the roles of women in the 50’s and 60’s as well as the attitudes that accompanied them, and as such allowed us to bring to light how women were so repressed by the social standards and mores of their day.

 Feminine Sexual Essence

 From the first woman Lilith, women have always been the more dynamic and active partner, especially in lovemaking, for we are the expression of Shakti the Primal Goddess. She represents raw sexuality, uncontrolled emotions. She can be fierce or gentle. She is untameable and is our primal nature, the Wild Woman. It is the feminine in her most natural state in full acceptance of her sexual power and her sexual appetite.This aspect of the feminine has always scared the male population and it has also scared many women. Of course, this was not always the case, especially before the demise of the Goddess. But it has been the case for the past 10 thousand years. And so the time has come for women to embrace this aspect of her feminine nature and to use it with love, wisdom, and reverence and to hold it sacred.


The New Feminine Mystique


The New Feminine Mystique is a new possibility for you as a woman to shift the current way in which you embody and express your sexual power, your sexual allure and your feminine sexual essence. It is a conversation that explores what it means to be a fully-embodied sexually-awake, totally integrated woman. How we as women use our power, the power of our sex and sexual allure is a question whose time has come. This power that women hold resides in their womb. It is a mysterious magnetic power that attracts all back to their divinity. It is also the primal energy of the feminine.

The New Feminine Mystique takes the shame out being an alluring woman and redefines this age-old term. To be a woman who is alluring now can mean to be someone who has kept her passion and erotic nature alive, a woman who is inspired by her vision and who knows how to show herself in the best light. She wears her womanliness proudly and without apology. She knows how to use the power of attraction that her sacred womb holds. Her sexuality is appropriately expressed when it is the right time and is not used to manipulate others to get what she wants. She no longer needs to do that in order to survive. She is a woman who is virginal unto herself and knows that she can satisfy herself erotically and does not need a man to do this. Because of this, she is not afraid of men and therefore can love them for being men. She is a woman who is now thriving in her sexual power.

When a woman no longer needs a man to feel fulfilled she is then free to love them for being who they are.

With this as a guide more and more women can begin to stand tall and feel that being a sexually potent, fully impassioned and alive woman is magnificent and something to be celebrated.

We are faced with many challenges at this time in our history, for never have women been so free on one hand and on the other so sexualized and objectified. It is time for all women to begin to remember where the source of their power resides and to honor this power as the gift that it is.



If you would like to learn how you can reconnect with the source of your authentic feminine power and feminine allure please visit: The School of Womyn's Mysteries.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

RECLAIMING YOUR AUTHENTIC FEMININE POWER


Is the power of a woman's body the power of her sex?

If this is true then what happens when a culture or society sexualizes and industrializes sex, and women and girls as sex objects? What happens when the culture you live in only values you for your sex appeal and denigrates you because you are a woman?

Since the beginning of male domination, some say patriarchy, over 5,000 years ago, when women were delegated to second class citizens, the property of men, and all human rights for the most part eliminated. Women were forced into using their sexuality as a means to survive. This may have been because of their economic conditions or because they were given/sold into marriage as breeders for heirs, or because they were made slaves by a conquering nation. Whatever the cause the condition remained the same. Women often felt that the only worth they had, the only weapon of power they held against their captors, was their sex, their body. Thus comes the dismantling of the true power of a woman's body, and the prostitution of her sex.

Everywhere in our world today we see women's bodies used as sexual objects to sell cars, beer, underwear, music and countless other items. We see girls being taught that to be "hot" is to be sexy and sexy equals power. Is this because we deem women to be beautiful and symbolic of what man, considers to be beautiful?No this is because the advertising industry and the media is in the business of selling things deems that women represent sex and sex sells.

If women and our bodies were not still identified as a means to gratifying men's desires, wants or needs then could we begin to see ourselves and our body as something that is wholly ours, something private and sacred for us to choose when and with whom we could share it. Could we begin to value ourselves for something other than how we look and how sexy we are to men?



Over 10,000 years ago in many egalitarian societies, where the feminine was honored and the images of the Goddess was revered, women's bodies were sacred. Sex was a sacred act of love between two individuals and was blessed by the Goddess. Women and men for the most part shared equally the responsibilities of creating a sustainable community and lifestyle. Women were seen as partners and as such shared in the governing and education of the people.Women's bodies was seen as part of the great mystery of life connected with the creation of life and thus held in high regard by all.

In these societies women held a sense of purity and innocence. This primarily was because in these societies women and nature were revered and honored. They were seen as whole beings who contributed to daily life of the community and that their body was their own to give to whom ever they chose to. Their body was pure (not necessarily virginal) but pure, and sex was something to be shared with someone you loved or cared for. Sex was considered a sacred act and a transmission of holy energy. The power of a woman's body was then found in the power of her smile, her eyes, her touch her very presence. Her sensuality and her love was a gift to man, her form was respected.

For women today to reclaim this purity and innocence of body and spirit...to once again understand where their true power lies, will require that all women and men everywhere no longer accept the normalization of the exploitation and sexualization of women and girls. It would require that we reclaim our natural innocence and to no longer fear our sexual power.

This is not a question of sexual freedom or a feminist issue but rather a question of human dignity, sexual and psychological health. It is time to create a new world where our children can be children where girls can once again run freely, naturally...where women can walk down the street and feel safe and where the feminine is valued in all of us, both men and women. It is time for a world that is a reflection of these values and only you and I can create it.

I invite you to take a stand to no longer support the current status quo of how women and girls are viewed in this culture and  reclaim your authentic feminine power.

Here are a few suggestions to assist you in taking the first steps:

  • Start by healing yourself if you have suffered from sexual or physical abuse. Their are many options today to deal with sexual trauma. 
  • Make a list of all the things you like and/or appreciate about yourself and then add one new thing a day. 
  • Begin to see value in who you are and what you offer to the world not just in how you look or your sexual savvy. Tell yourself that you are valuable, you are worthy and deserve to be loved, honored and respected.
  • Learn how to love and accept your body and to appreciate your yoni. Get to know her and learn to Yoni Speak.
  • Make friends with the psychological aspects of yourself. 
  • There are many archetypes that we embody, victim, survivor, child, rebel, queen and many many more. By beginning to get to know these aspects you can begin to become a more whole and integrated person.
  • Be an example for other women and girls by reclaiming your authentic feminine power and support other girls and women in doing the same.
Resources:
The School of Womyn's Mysteries
AASCET (The American Assoc. of Sex Educators and Therapists)
The Somatic Sensual Healing Institute

Don't miss out on one of the most powerful and life changing programs available. Reclaim your feminine sexual wholeness, the purity and innocence that was once yours.

The Light of Womanhood ~Priestess of the Flame Initiation and Training 2017 is now taking applications.


For more information on how to apply contact me at:
theschoolofwomensmysteries@gmail.com and/or go to my website for more information on the course.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

RECLAIMING THE WORD WHORE



For centuries women have been classified into categories of being either good or bad. Good being virginal, (her hymen intact), a woman that does not sleep around or who is not promiscuous; bad meaning, just the opposite, a “whore”, slut, seductress/seducer, a woman who enjoys sex with many men who steals other women’s men or who just enjoys sex.  Although today in Western society, women have more freedom than ever before, these old attitudes still remain.  In many other countries throughout the world a woman’s virginity is still considered a prize possession kept only for her husband and if a woman is found to not be virginal when she is of a marriageable age she is ostracized and considered ruined 
 and unclean.

These attitudes have been accepted by the collective field of humanity, and therefore passed down  from generation to generation. Women in particular, have taken these attitudes to heart as they have been passed down from great-grandmother, to grandmother, to mother and daughter. They alive become entrenched within the collective psyche of all women and within the cellular memory of our bodies.  
These ideas have become so prevalent and accepted as the norm that one of the worst things you can call another girl or woman is a “whore”, this word being an all-inclusive “bad” girl who sleeps around.
As a result of this women have felt split between the two. Am I a good girl or bad girl, Madonna or whore these being the only two choices we have had.  Although today, we have to some degree shifted some of these old ways of thinking about women’s sexuality, you can still see the effects of these entrenched beliefs played out in our media and on  advertising, music, and videos.  Especially hurt are young girls who are still being told that their primary value is to be beautiful and sexy at any age. 


 “The separation into priestess and prostitute, or sacred and profane polarities, occurred for western civilization when the early fathers of Christianity claimed power by abolishing goddess worship and other nature-based pagan religions. In actuality, the bipartite woman, both whore and Madonna, was a construct of the early Papal Councils around 600 AD.”

This separation was designed to diminish the power of the Goddess and her representatives, the priestesses of Her temples. Priestesses were eventually regulated to perform only certain tasks by the priests who were now given full range of power.


The Origin of the Word Whore

The term "sacred whore" is not an oxymoron. If we explore the etymology of the words "whore" or "harlot," we find that the split between "priestess" and "prostitute" is a relatively recent one. In her book When God Was A Woman, Merlin Stone informs us that the Hebrew word zonah means both prostitute and prophetess. Barbara Walker, in her Dictionary of Woman's Myths and Secrets, points out that the Hebrew word hor means a cave, pit, or dark hole. The Spanish word for whore, puta, derives from the Latin term for a well, but the Latin term for grave, literally "a hole in the earth," is puticuli, meaning womb of rebirth. These terms for whore were not derogatory.

The Latin term had its root in the Vedic, an early Sanskrit language, wherein the word puta is defined as pure and holy. The cave, the pit, the hole, and the bottomless black lake were metaphors for the Great Goddess, She who is unnameable, that darkness primordial from which all life (light) is born. She is the Everything and The Nothing -- Hole-y, Holy, Wholly. The Sacred Whore at work was, in fact, the manifestation the Great Goddess. 
Today these ideas are not completely lost. 

The Hebrew folk dance named the hora, a tradition at Jewish weddings, is named after the circle dances of the sacred harlots. Such holy harlots were often "brides of God" similar to modern nuns, the "brides of Christ." The holy harlots were set apart to give birth to Sons of God. In other words, these women had the job of changing human-animal into human-god. 

It is time for women everywhere to reclaim their Herstory and to take back the original meaning of this word. The change must come from women first in order to affect a change in how the word is used. Just like the word cunt was reclaimed, women have the power, you have the power to reclaim the holy sacredness of your sexuality and your sexual power. By taking back the word Whore, and restoring it to it's original meaning not only will you and I benefit but so will your daughters and all women everywhere.

If you would like to find out more about Herstory of these amazing women please go to my website, The School of Womyn's Mysteries, to find out more about my upcoming programs for 2017.


Sunday, September 18, 2016

PORN AND ITS EFFECTS ON SEXUAL INTIMACY AND THE VIRILITY OF MEN



“An increasing problem for the vagina, and the whole of life of the woman who owns that vagina, is that porn affects men neurologically, to their detriment.”  Naomi Wolf

There is increased evidence that watching porn repetitively severely inhibits how men respond to sexual intimacy, their ability to have an erection and to enjoy making love with their partner. Not only is a man’s ability to sustain an erection effected but so is his desire to have foreplay and to learn the “arts of love”, which provide the necessary caresses women’s autonomic nervous systems need in order for a woman to be able to fully reach arousal.

It seems that “ordinary” sex is no longer stimulating to many men who are heavy porn users. Frequent masturbation to porn may also train your brain and body to only respond sexually to these types of visual stimuli. “This phenomenon has diminished the sexual satisfaction of many women, similar to that found in the 1997 and 2004 sexual surveys,” says Naomi Wolf in her book Vagina.

“Pornography is inspiring and sexually motivating,” says Dr. Ursula Ofman, Ph D., a New York-based clinical psychologist and sex therapist. But if you masturbate too frequently—especially in the hours before you attempt sex with a partner—your recent orgasms may make it more difficult for you to perform, or may lower your interest in sex, Ofman says.

What this means is that there can be an increased susceptibility for a man to have ED, or Erectile Dysfunction, when he tries to have sex with his partner.

Possible signs of porn-induced sexual dysfunction include:


  • A man is able to achieve erections and orgasms with pornography, but he struggles with one or both when he’s with an in-person partner.
  •  A man is able to have sex and achieve orgasm with partners, but reaching orgasm takes a long time and his partners complain that he seems disengaged.
  • A man is able to maintain an erection with real-world partners, but he can only achieve orgasm by replaying porn clips in his mind.
  • A man increasingly prefers porn to real-world sex, finding it more intense and more engaging.
  • A man needs to recreate his porn images in his real life relationships to get an erection.
  • Younger men tend to expect women to provide them with the same stimulus they seen in porn.



Porn and Its Effects on Young Males

Two surveys were done in Japan, one in 2008, the other in 2010. The issue is not only more prevalent than one might expect, but growing. For instance, the 2008 survey found that 17.5 percent of males aged 16 to 19 stated they had no interest in or an outright aversion to sex with another person. Two years later, this percentage had more than doubled, to 36.1 percent. For males, aged 20 to 24 the percentage increase was similar, up from 11.8 percent in 2008 to 21.5 percent in 2010. This rising disinterest in real-world physical intimacy coincides directly with the online porn explosion, which began in earnest right around 2008. (Psychology Today)

The fact is that porn is more available now because of the internet than ever before. Young boys who are just reaching puberty now have access to images of the sex act that were never available before. These images may range from men and women to bestiality and violent sexual acts. Real life examples of sexual intimacy, such as foreplay, kissing and talking are not shown and there is no way for these younger men to learn what healthy sexual intimacy looks like. Young men can see so much variety on porn these days that it can offer continuous stimulation. Some men say they go from one image to the next thus keeping a dopamine high.

The problem is also related to the fact that if a guy spends 70, 80 or even 90 percent of his time watching porn…endless images of sex being performed in a myriad of positions, constantly changing partners he may find his real life partner is less stimulating than the visuals he has seen online.    (Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S)

 Statistics state that in the U.S. there are 107 million visits per month to adult porn sites and there are 259 million  porn users in the U.S.  These statistics stagger the mind and unfortunately have not only led to a rise in the number of young men who now have some form of ED, but have also created issues regarding how young women see themselves and how they feel about sex. Many young women have stated that when they are having sex they feel as if they are watching someone else.  They don't feel they are actually in the act but rather observing someone else since what they are doing doesn't feel authentic.  I believe that this type of comment is a direct reflection of how pornography has effected women regarding how they relate to themselves and to the sex act.

What You Can Do About It

The most fundamental way to change any habit is to provide a more comprehensive education about that subject, then offer options or alternative ways to express that particular subject. Sex education in public or private schools is not adequate. It rarely covers what it takes to create healthy sexual intimacy, which includes the mechanics or physiology of sex as well as the emotional intimacy of a healthy relationship.There are also more and more studies being done on this subject and they are easily accessible on line.

Some things you can do about it are:

1. Suggest to your son or daughter’s high school that a pilot program on healthy sexual intimacy and relationships be taught.

2. Create off campus or on, after school programs where parents participate with kids in discussing these topics.

3. Have more discussions at home, or have them sponsored at school, the effects that porn has on healthy sexuality.

4. Broadening sex education for adult males and women would also assist in helping them to disengage from porn as their main model of sexual contact. 


Below is a wonderful Ted talk that I hope will provide you with some more information.



This link is also another Ted Talk that has a great deal of very pertinent information on how watching porn effects the brain. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU


If you have any other suggestions, feel free to comment below. I invite anyone who would like to contribute legitimate solutions to do so.

Monday, September 5, 2016

THE TRUE POWER OF SISTERHOOD


  


"Within the sacred womb of women dwells a mysterious magnetic power that attracts all back to their divinity." 

For thousands of years women have been gathering in sacred circles to recognize the bond that unites them. It is this bond that goes deeper than women being friends or even being a “sister” that I am addressing.

Having a woman's body is the bond that unites all women everywhere. It is because of our sex, our "yoni", that we are deeply connected and bonded. The yoni is one of the most ancient symbols for feminine power.This symbol has been found on cave walls dated thousands of years ago. 

"It is through the intimacy of every woman's body, that the flame of spirit is kept for it's direct transmission to others." (Lilith, Keepers of the Flame.)

Throughout the many civilizations of Goddess based cultures, this symbol of feminine power has been used. This understanding of our feminine power is as ancient as our world. It's origins are from the first woman Lilith in the Garden of Eden. There have been cults developed about the power of the “yoni” in Ancient India and the flow of
the “elixir of life” or amrita.


It is through our remembering this power and reclaiming the innocence of our body that we reclaim the innocence of all women everywhere and step into our sisterhood. It is through the portal of acknowledging the source of your authentic feminine power, that a new paradigm regarding how women and women's sexuality are viewed can be established.




There is nothing you have to do to become a part of this sisterhood other than making a conscious decision that this bond between women is one that transcends the collective belief about women in relationship with each other. This bond rather than seeding more competition, jealousy and fear between women can unite us. When you remember where your power resides and that it is this very thing that unites all women, you will know yourself to be a Temple Sister.

Some of the Qualities of a Temple Sister

  • She is a woman who is vibrantly alive and radiating her love.

  • She is dedicated to speaking the TRUTH in order to serve and reveal any illusion.

  • She knows who she is, how she serves and lives from this center point.

  • She loves, respects and honors herself and therefore loves, respects and honors other women.

  • She sees the priestess in all women and supports them in seeing it too.
  • She celebrates the successes of her sisters and willingly collaborates and supports new endeavors. 

  • She knows her mind but follows her heart.

  • She understands the power of her sex, has reclaimed her erotic innocence and fully expresses her sexuality authentically.

  • She lives in innocence and celebrates being a woman.

  • She loves her body no matter what shape, size, and age she is, and treats it as a Temple.
  • She recognizes that because she has a woman’s body she is connected, bonded with all women everywhere.
She Is You!



Join the Temple Sisterhood Now! Go to: http://www.womensmysteries.org

Monday, August 15, 2016

MISOGYNY IS HARD TO SPELL BUT EASY TO PRACTICE


It is hard not to be aware of the current atmosphere of misogyny that seems to be on the rise. Or perhaps it has always been here all along but it has never felt so blatant. It is an attitude that seems to be reflected everywhere you look. It is in the papers, MTV, on the news and on the internet.  It has become hard not to notice the normalization of misogyny. 

This attitude of hostility toward women is not a new issue.  Unfortunately, women for centuries have been the target of misogynistic behavior.  The primary reason for this repression of women, was that women’s power, and primarily their sexual power, was feared by men. Those who made the laws felt that a woman's sexuality, her body too easily influenced a man's good judgement. Some felt that women's innate power to create life had become too important and so they created new stories and new laws that curbed a woman's influence and power.

So the pervading  male dominated culture created  prohibited women from owning property, getting an education,  providing for themselves, having a voice in politics and owning their own bodies. Women were essentially the property of men and had no legal recourse for the most part.  They felt they had to control a woman’s sexual appetite and her appetite for life in general or it would go out of control. Women were considered sub-human in some cultures, and not able to make rational decisions or to think without being overly emotional.  Even though you can see that there were times when the feminine thrived throughout history, they did not last. Eventually man’s desire for power and the acquisition of property won out and the rights of women diminished.

The Current Climate

What I see today is something  similar to those times when the feminine was denigrated and dis-honored. When the desire for power over others and greed took precedence over the more humanitarian values of the feminine.The overt expression of hostility and anger toward women is more visible today than ever before.

 Although we have made some headway in the rights of women over the past several decades, it is still apparent that we are experiencing a huge backlash toward women and losing many of those hard won rights. The general attitude being one of  acceptance of the denigration of women. The message being that women are sexual objects to be displayed, bought and sold for the entertainment and profit of some men and some women. It seems that whenever a society begins to fear women's power they use their own sexuality as a weapon against them. I ask you, is this because the more hostility and aggression is expressed the more it is allowed? Has violence against women become the norm? Is it because women and girls have always seemed easy prey, victims and powerless? Perhaps, it is due to the fact that these attitudes have been deeply buried for too long and that the power of women is still feared.

What is most disturbing is that there does not seem to be any apparent easy answer to this overwhelming problem.  Law enforcement cannot prevent these things alone. Regardless of how many pimps are caught, or traffickers put behind bars, there are others ready to take their place. The fact is, that until there is a shift in the collective thinking regarding the value of women and girls, nothing will really change.

THE NEW PARADIGM

Changing our existing paradigm is not an easy thing to do, but it can be done with the conscious intention of each and every one of us who feel moved to make a difference. From that space you can take right action by asking within and finding out what the next step is for you. 

Below are a few suggestions that you can do if you wish to be part of the change.
  1. Believe in the power of your thought and intention. When enough people envision a new future that is based on egalitarian and humanitarian values then change can occur. This is a fact that has been proven over and over again, 
  2.  Become more informed about the Herstory of our world and begin to share what you learn with other women and girls and educate yourself.
  3.  If you have a son teach him to honor respect women, to accept the feminine within himself, and to see girls as whole people not just sex objects, 
  4. If you have a daughter support her in understanding where her true power comes from and to know that being a powerful woman is not just based on being sexy and looking pretty. Help her to discover who she is apart from the media and to love and accept herself.
  5.  Speak out against the violence you read about toward women. Your voice is important and needs to be heard. Don't be complacent and think your voice doesn't matter. It is the only thing that does. 
  6. Take action as needed. If you see something that doesn't feel right, do something about it.
  7.  Support organizations and projects that help women and girls who have been trafficked, who need the chance to go to school or to start a business. Below are a few great organizations that work with human trafficking issues and education for women and girls.
        Each of us can effect change if we choose to believe in our own individual and collective power. Change happens over time and it is always because of a group of committed and dedicated people who aligned with each other and who stood up for something they believed in, no matter what it took to make it happen. I invite you to meet this challenge if you feel moved and to do so today!



        

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Living in a Rape Culture

As some of you may know, most of what I write about has to do with the culture in which we all live in today and how it specifically affects girls and women. Being a woman myself I have   had many life experiences to validate much of what I write about. But as a writer I get the privilege of being able to share my thoughts, feelings and of course the facts of whatever it is that I am interested writing about. So  when I came across an article and video that talked about living in a rape culture, I knew I wanted to write about what this meant to me and what it means for all of us.  So I decided to share with you some of the things I found out about this topic. The first step in changing anything is to raise the awareness of the problem or the situation and then from that place we can discover solutions.

So what is a rape culture? 

It seems that it is a term that was coined from the days when being a Feminist wasn't a dirty word. It actually defines the current world we live in fairly accurately in my opinion, as it relates to being a woman in today's world.  

The definition of a "rape culture" is,

A rape culture is a complex of beliefs that encourages male sexual aggression and supports violence against women. It is a society where violence is seen as sexy and sexuality as violent. In a rape culture, women perceive a continuum of threatened violence that ranges from sexual remarks to sexual touching to rape itself. A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrorism against women as the norm.

In a rape culture both men and women assume that sexual violence is a fact of life, inevitable as death or taxes. This violence, however, is neither biologically nor divinely ordained. Much of what we accept as inevitable is in fact the expression of values and attitudes that can change.


Rape culture is rape being used as a weapon, a tool of war and genocide and oppression. Rape culture is rape being used as a corrective to "cure" queer women. Rape culture is a militarized culture and "the natural product of all wars, everywhere, at all times, in all forms."

Rape culture includes jokes, TV, music, advertising, legal jargon, laws, words and imagery, that make violence against women and sexual coercion seem so normal that people believe that rape is inevitable. Rather than viewing the culture of rape as a problem to change, people in a rape culture think about the persistence of rape as “just the way things are.http://upsettingrapeculture.tumblr.com/

How it Began

You may think that this is something that is a problem of the past few decades or maybe that it started in the good old days of the Twentieth Century, but it did not. This way of thinking about women and the feminine began thousands of years ago, even before the Judaeo Christian religions were born. The struggle for power and dominance over the feminine, the Goddess, nature and women started when men began to feel that they wanted to be more powerful than women. They wanted to feel that their role was just as important as giving birth was. For you see in these cultures, it was the women who could give life, who inherited property and passed it down to their female children. It was a culture where everyone had the same rights, each having their roles to play and everyone was essential to the survival of the tribe. The feminine, the Goddess and  women were revered, respected and honored,

 But these were agrarian based cultures that had no weapons to speak of, that did not make war on others for the most part. They lived in peace and harmony with nature and with all their neighbors. But their came a time when the Nomadic hordes from the East came over the Russian Steppes to "turn the world on it's head"  and conquer those peaceful agrarian based cultures.  (Chalice and the Blade, Riane Eisler)

There are always multiple reasons why anything happens and it took thousands of years to shift from goddess based cultures to change to a male dominated and warring based cultures. As you can see the beginnings of a "rape culture" had it's roots from this shift from cultures where the feminine, the Goddess was honored to honoring a male God of war... and where power over others, the acquisition of property became the way of life. Pillaging and rape had always been part of this new way of seeing the world.  Women and children were the property of men and therefore men could do whatever they wanted to them. Of course male children had more rights and were treated better but they were still the property of men. 

When men discovered that it was their seed that was needed for life to be created  they fostered the belief that a woman was really only an incubator for the child and that it was man that created life not woman. The belief that raping a woman or girl was the right of her father or husband was accepted and condoned because they were his property, not people of their own right. It has always been a dance of power over others and with that came fighting over property, whatever that might be. Basically, when power over others  not the power from within, became the model for living life. Having property and acquiring things including women and children began to take root as a new way of seeing the world. 

What You Can Do

Today, women and children are no longer considered a man's property but women are still objectified as sex objects to be used for the pleasure and entertainment of men. We have created a society where rape is an accepted way of life and where women have to learn to live on the defensive it they wish to feel safe.  

The only way in which we can change living in a "rape culture" to living in a culture where the feminine is respected and end the violence against women is by:


  • Pulling the issue out of the shadows so that a meaningful conversation can be curated. We then can leverage the opportunity to build capacity, educate stakeholders and the general public, and demand an end to sexual violence.
  • Naming the real problems; a culture that condones violent masculinity and victim blaming.
  • Educating yourself and others on the facts of non-consensual sex, and violence against women.
  • Getting media literate. Media, like everything else we consume, is a product some imagined, someone created and implemented it.
  • Speaking out when you hear, see or experience attitudes or behaviors that condone rape and the objectification of women.
  • Globalize your awareness of the rape culture beyond the U.S.
  • Taking a stand for the kind of world you want to live in and taking action when you feel inspired to do so.
  • Supporting local efforts to stop the violence and lobby your community.


Rape and other forms of violence are never consensual acts, no matter what excuses the perpetrator may make. I recently came across a video which I have shared here, it is funny and sad all at the same time. The fact that it had to be made at all is the sad part, the funny well you can see that for yourself.
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Tea and Consent

  


"It is not enough to bring individual perpetrators of rape and sexual violence to justice. Since the problem lies in a culture that is entertained by degrading acts and images of women, the solution is to look at the individual acts as a symptom of rape culture and solve it holistically. We all have a part to play in allowing rape culture to exist—so, we can all do something to eradicate it." ~ Walter Moseley

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