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Relationships for the 21st Century – The Mind of Love

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I have found being in a relationship to be a deeply spiritual process it will reveal to you all of those unpleasant aspects of yourself that you would never face without one, and can be used to purify those, to grow beyond them.  It is a spiritual journey.  This is where we get to learn about trust, respect, commitment, communication, and love.  And, it can be extremely challenging at times. 

In order to create an "enlightened relationship" you must be committed to your own process of waking up.  Choosing to be in a conscious relationship is just one pathway to achieving that.
 We are always in relationship with something or someone whether it is your beloved, your friends, your boss and co-workers, your pets or nature herself.  Our relatedness is a given just for being born as a human and what we choose to do with this gift or not is really the question.  There are many ways in which you can approach being in a conscious relationship with your beloved.  There are many paths t…

What Does it Mean to be Sex Positive?

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Being a sex-positive individual and growing up in a primarily sexually dysfunctional culture has definitely been a challenge.  I have always been a person who enjoyed sex for the most part, even when I knew nothing about how to turn my own body on or communicate what I liked or did not like to my current lover.  I used attend HAI (Human Awareness Institute) meetings and learn all about alternative sexual realities way back in the 80’s, and that truly opened me up to being less judgmental about how people chose to express their sexuality.  It also allowed me to open up to alternative ways of being in relationships which broadened my horizons. So I could say I was prone to being a sex-positive person but it was not until I began to study Tantra that I found a more sex-positive community of like-minded people. 
It was through my connection with a tantric community that I was involved with for about 2 years that I really began to open to what it meant to be a sex-positive individual and …

The Three Stages of Intimacy

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There are 3 stages of relating, according to David Deida an international teacher and author, dependence, 50/50 or intimate communion. In his book Intimate Communion, he defines these stages according to the polarity differences between men and women and what most attracts Dependent Relationship In a Dependent Relationship, what you may notice is that the couple often represents the extremes of what is considered masculine and feminine. He may look very macho and or his energy will be very masculine in a more stereotypic way. She may depict the extreme of what is considered feminine in a woman. Some images that come to mind are where the man throws the woman on the bed and takes her almost forcefully and she surrenders to his dominance. Partners may confuse some version of a master/slave relationship with real love. She is the more passive of the two and often desires to feel vanquished. She might also desire to be seen as his property or his woman and her man.

“A Dependence R…

What's Your Sexy?

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What's your sexy, is a question that I like to ask women of all ages. I often wonder if living in the world that we do confuses women and girls as to what being a sexually empowered woman is all about. What if you could just stop for a moment and begin to ask yourself what does it mean for me to be truly sexually empowered? I wonder what your answer might be.

For some, it may mean how they express themselves in the bedroom and the different flavors of energy that you express in a particular way. For others, there might be a much broader definition. such as what turns you on at any given moment. So it could be writing a blog, or dancing or being in nature or anything that is using your creative energy. Sex, of course, is part of that but it is not exclusive to that.
The New Standards of the Hook-up GenerationThe hook-up culture today has morphed into an "anything goes" culture. Sexual identification has become more blurred and so sexual preferences are not so rigid as they…

Creating a New World

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I recently began to re-read a book that truly changed my life view of how our world has gotten to where we are today. That book is The Chalice and the Blade, by Riane Eisler.  I first read this book back in the 80's when it first came out. Yes, I was one of those women who was just beginning to discover the Goddess.  This book had taken work done buy Maria Gimbutus one of the first women archeologists of her day to actually prove that there was a Goddess culture in many societies before they were taken over by what Riane calls, the nomadic hordes or the Kurgans. 
Partnership SocietiesI am telling you about this book because I feel that it is important for us to know why we got here. At least to understand the roots of why our world was turned upside down. For thousands of years, there were cultures that existed that Riane calls partnership societies.  Women and men lived in harmony together, and art, science, medicine, music, as well as agriculture, shipping and technology thrived.…

Become a Change Maker

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In the current "Me Too" climate, change is in the air, but the question I wish to pose is what kind of change are we desiring to see? Are we really ready for the changes we are asking for and do we know what it will take to accomplish them? Raising the public awareness about sexual assault,  rape, sexual objectification of women and the consequences that women have had to face for centuries, as a result, is just the tip of the iceberg.  

To really affect a change we need to keep these issues at the forefront of everyone's mind and begin to actually implement some solutions. True lasting change has to come from a shift in consciousness first and from there taking action. 

I recently was listening to a radio show where a media specialist was commenting on the sudden shift in advertising since "Me Too" has taken off.  She said that on the surface it seems like sex sells, but in reality after testing overtly sexual ads and ads that are not, the ads that are using wom…

Creating a New Paradigm for Women's Sexuality

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Have you ever wondered what it might feel like to live in a world where women are honored and respected? A world where girls can run freely to play and express themselves and where sex is something that is natural and considered sacred regardless of how you choose to express it.

I have, many times, since my mission you might say is to help establish such a world or at least help to bring it forth. I have wondered what would it take to create this type of world and how we might go about it? Establishing a new paradigm is no easy task and it cannot be done by just wishing and hoping.  What it takes is a definite concrete plan of some sort which includes new ideas and new ways of thinking and being. 
So before I speak abotheyut what you can do to help us create this new paradigm,  I want to review where we are now in the culture that we are living in. For as we establish a new paradigm for women, men will change too.  I want us to take a look at what women, you and I perhaps, have been tol…