“An increasing problem for the vagina, and the whole of life of the woman who owns that vagina, is that porn affects men neurologically, to their detriment.” Naomi Wolf
It seems that “ordinary” sex is no longer stimulating to many men who are heavy porn users. Frequent masturbation to porn may also train your brain and body to only respond sexually to these types of visual stimuli. “This phenomenon has diminished the sexual satisfaction of many women, similar to that found in the 1997 and 2004 sexual surveys,” says Naomi Wolf in her book Vagina.
“Pornography is inspiring and sexually motivating,” says Dr. Ursula Ofman, Ph D., a New York-based clinical psychologist and sex therapist. But if you masturbate too frequently—especially in the hours before you attempt sex with a partner—your recent orgasms may make it more difficult for you to perform, or may lower your interest in sex, Ofman says.
What this means is that there can be an increased susceptibility for a man to have ED, or Erectile Dysfunction, when he tries to have sex with his partner.
Possible signs of porn-induced sexual dysfunction include:
- A man is able to achieve erections and orgasms with pornography, but he struggles with one or both when he’s with an in-person partner.
- A man is able to have sex and achieve orgasm with partners, but reaching orgasm takes a long time and his partners complain that he seems disengaged.
- A man is able to maintain an erection with real-world partners, but he can only achieve orgasm by replaying porn clips in his mind.
- A man increasingly prefers porn to real-world sex, finding it more intense and more engaging.
- A man needs to recreate his porn images in his real life relationships to get an erection.
- Younger men tend to expect women to provide them with the same stimulus they seen in porn.
Porn and Its Effects on Young MalesTwo surveys were done in Japan, one in 2008, the other in 2010. The issue is not only more prevalent than one might expect, but growing. For instance, the 2008 survey found that 17.5 percent of males aged 16 to 19 stated they had no interest in or an outright aversion to sex with another person. Two years later, this percentage had more than doubled, to 36.1 percent. For males, aged 20 to 24 the percentage increase was similar, up from 11.8 percent in 2008 to 21.5 percent in 2010. This rising disinterest in real-world physical intimacy coincides directly with the online porn explosion, which began in earnest right around 2008. (Psychology Today)
The fact is that porn is more available now because of the internet than ever before. Young boys who are just reaching puberty now have access to images of the sex act that were never available before. These images may range from men and women to bestiality and violent sexual acts. Real life examples of sexual intimacy, such as foreplay, kissing and talking are not shown and there is no way for these younger men to learn what healthy sexual intimacy looks like. Young men can see so much variety on porn these days that it can offer continuous stimulation. Some men say they go from one image to the next thus keeping a dopamine high.
The problem is also related to the fact that if a guy spends 70, 80 or even 90 percent of his time watching porn…endless images of sex being performed in a myriad of positions, constantly changing partners he may find his real life partner is less stimulating than the visuals he has seen online. (Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S)
Statistics state that in the U.S. there are 107 million visits per month to adult porn sites and there are 259 million porn users in the U.S. These statistics stagger the mind and unfortunately have not only led to a rise in the number of young men who now have some form of ED, but have also created issues regarding how young women see themselves and how they feel about sex. Many young women have stated that when they are having sex they feel as if they are watching someone else. They don't feel they are actually in the act but rather observing someone else since what they are doing doesn't feel authentic. I believe that this type of comment is a direct reflection of how pornography has effected women regarding how they relate to themselves and to the sex act.
What You Can Do About ItThe most fundamental way to change any habit is to provide a more comprehensive education about that subject, then offer options or alternative ways to express that particular subject. Sex education in public or private schools is not adequate. It rarely covers what it takes to create healthy sexual intimacy, which includes the mechanics or physiology of sex as well as the emotional intimacy of a healthy relationship.There are also more and more studies being done on this subject and they are easily accessible on line.
Some things you can do about it are:1. Suggest to your son or daughter’s high school that a pilot program on healthy sexual intimacy and relationships be taught.
2. Create off campus or on, after school programs where parents participate with kids in discussing these topics.
3. Have more discussions at home, or have them sponsored at school, the effects that porn has on healthy sexuality.
4. Broadening sex education for adult males and women would also assist in helping them to disengage from porn as their main model of sexual contact.
Below is a wonderful Ted talk that I hope will provide you with some more information.
If you have any other suggestions, feel free to comment below. I invite anyone who would like to contribute legitimate solutions to do so.